Expectations regarding good manners differ from person to person and vary
according to each situation. As the perception of behaviors and actions vary, intercultural competence is
essential. However, a lack of knowledge about the customs and expectations of people in Australia and New Zealand can make even the best intentioned person
seem ignorant, inconsiderate or even rude.
Shared expectations
Australia and New Zealand are separate countries, each with its own
distinct national identity that includes particular customs and rules of
etiquette. Confusing their identities in general conversation is usually not
tolerated and will be quickly corrected. Points of etiquette that apply to both
countries include the following:
General
When meeting friends or new people and when leaving the company of friends
or people who one has just met it is becoming less common to require the
handshake to be firm, though many are still offended by a 'limp' handshake.
Giving someone a limp handshake is referred to as giving someone a "dead
fish" and is often viewed with derision, especially in country areas. A
quick clasping of hands may be OK for younger people. However, it is always
respectful to make eye contact when you shake hands.
Language
Requesting a fanny pack can be considered obscene
due to the use of "fanny" as a slang term
for female genitalia.
"Bum bag" is the acceptable local variation in some areas.[1] Australians and New Zealanders are generally
tolerant of foreigners making this mistake.
Enquiring about which sporting team "you root for" will be met
with amusement. "Root" is a vulgar term in both Australia & New
Zealand for sexual intercourse. Use "go for" or "support"
instead. "Barrack for" is also used by some Australians.
An enquiry about a person's well being (such as "How's it going?"
or "How are you going?") is a common greeting. Generally the accepted
response is "Not too bad", and it is considered polite to ask the
person the same question back. It is also considered polite to greet anyone,
including strangers, in this way.
Bragging, or initiating discussion of one's own achievements, is usually
considered in poor taste. (See tall poppy syndrome.)
It is acceptable to host a barbecue without supplying all the food and
drink. The host may ask guests to bring particular items such as beverages,
salad, or meat, often using the acronym "BYO"
The term "bring a plate" is synonymous with
"potluck"
Public places
As cars drive on the left side of the road in both countries, people moving
forward will generally go to the left as well. When walking on the pavement
(usually called the 'footpath'), one should walk on the left, whenever
possible. When travelling on escalators or moving walkways, one should keep to
the right when walking, or keep to the left when standing.[2]
When using public transport, it is
rude to board before letting other passengers disembark. It is polite to move
from the aisle to the window seat if it is vacant, to allow others passengers
to sit down easily.
Trains and buses in all states of Australia and in New Zealand have seats
set aside for elderly and disabled people. Sitting in these seats is acceptable
but these seats should be offered to the people they are set aside for.
Spitting on the street is frowned upon.
When getting off a bus you may choose to say thank you to the driver,
especially if they have been polite or provided a comfortable ride, although it
is not bad manners if you don't.
Bars and restaurants
When paying a cashier, it is common to place the money in their hand.
Change is usually placed in your hand in return. When paying at a restaurant it
is acceptable to leave the money in the tray on the table, if one is provided.
Otherwise, leave it inside the menu card and hand back to the waiter/waitress
with a word of thanks. Paying at the cash register is most often the best way
to avoid confusion.
Tipping is not usually expected and some employees may not understand the
gesture. Some employees are forbidden from accepting gratuities (this is mainly
in positions of authority e.g. in a casino one cannot tip the dealer or a
security guard however, this would not apply in a formal restaurant situation)
and tipping face-to-face can create an awkward situation. However, it is
appropriate to add a tip to restaurant bills if the service has been especially
good. It is also acceptable to suggest that taxi drivers or waiters "keep
the change", especially if the difference is small. Tips may be as large
or as small as you feel appropriate. Where tip jars are provided, they are
mostly used for loose change or coins.
Queuing (forming a line) is expected when there is any
demand for an item. The only exception to this is a pub.
However, it is still rude to accept service from a barman before someone who has been waiting longer. A
simple nod or subtle gesture towards the person who has waited longer will be
understood by any experienced server to mean that the indicated person was
before you.
If you are in a pub and accidentally knock a person's drink over or bump
into them and cause a spillage, it is both customary and polite to buy him
another one - or at least offer to do so. Failing to do so may aggravate the
average Australian bar patron and possibly cause them to respond aggressively
toward you.
When out with friends, co-workers or relatives, it is common but not
compulsory for people to take turns buying rounds of drinks. This is referred to as a 'shout', e.g.
"It's my shout."[3]
When entering the bar of a RSL (Returned
Services Association - R.S.A. in New Zealand) or golf club, a man who does not
remove his hat is considered rude and as a result rebuked by being told that he
is expected to 'shout' (buy a round of drinks) for all those present.
It is very rude to try to get someone's attention in a public place by
saying "Oi!" or "Hey you!" or whistling especially in
bars/pubs and restaurants.
A person who takes the last item of food from a common plate, without first
offering it to the others at the table may be seen as greedy or inconsiderate.
You should treat people serving you as politely as you expect them to treat
you. Use 'please' when placing an order or making a request and 'thank you'
when you receive your order or service. They are there to help you, but they
are not your 'slaves' or inferiors[4]
Complaints in restaurants are rare. Most will merely refuse to revisit an
establishment after bad food or service[5]
Surcharges for use of less commonly used credit cards such as Diners Club
and Amex commonly apply in many Australian establishments. To avoid conflict most
establishments will advertise this with a sign of some sort near the cashier
area[6]
Arguing or yelling with staff in a food & beverage establishment is
considered rude and inappropriate[7]
Common restaurant manners include using the knife and fork properly,
refraining from burping and placing elbows on a table, placing your napkin on
your lap and folding it neatly after use and eating in a polite and appropriate
manner. Eg. Not slurping on soup or spaghetti.
Driving
Waving as a gesture of thanks to drivers that stop to allow you into their
lane, exit a driveway, merging into the lane, or cross at a crossing, is viewed
as polite.
A common experience while travelling on state highways is being 'flashed'
by oncoming vehicles. This is when an oncoming vehicle flicks its high beam
headlights quickly but noticeably (day or night), and serves to warn drivers
they are approaching a hazard: a speed camera or Police vehicle/Radar/Random
Breath Test (most commonly), or a motor vehicle accident, or animals/rocks on
the road . Many drivers acknowledge this with a return wave or a brief reply
'flash' of their high beam headlights.[citation needed].
It is also done to alert the other driver if they have neglected to turn their
own headlights on when necessary.
When driving on Australian highways, if you are passed by a vehicle that is
towing it is customary to signal to the passing vehicle that they are far
enough ahead to move back into the left lane by 'flashing' your headlights. It
is then polite for the passing vehicle to quickly flash their left, right and
then left indicator as a signal of thanks.[8]
When coming out of parking lots and driveways in an automobile, it is
considered polite to let a pedestrian walking on a footpath pass first.
If a fellow driver is in trouble in Australia (for example: broken down,
flat tire, lost) it is polite to take some time to assist them, however if it
is impossible for you to stop then it is not a necessity.
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